A632.6.3.RB_FogartyShawn

             In context with this week’s discussion question my counterpart at our higher headquarters is characteristic of a coconut. He is comprised of a solid exterior and until you’re able to crack him you’re not able to wreak the rewards of its contents or arrive to any sort of resolutions. We’ve taken several issues to the mat and after wrestling, realizing we’re not being productive I’ve withdrawn my attention and refocused. It wasn’t until I developed a way to crack his shell that any resolutions were made. This practice, his tough exterior was a product of his self-esteem and confidence. I initially mischaracterized him as being difficult, withholding as a righteous bravado or lacking logic while creating conflict. Once I realized he was establishing this as a defensive posture, I was able to insulate rather than oppose and take every issue to the mat. I found out by actively listening and dissecting the issues that he was acting from an uncomfortable position. If I invest additional time in educating and insulating he was more willing to let down his guard.                
            I was able to think creatively, isolating the root problem. This relieved the tension as I allowed him, by actively listening, to express his thoughts and concerns (information and feelings. Additionally, step was a product of being open and communicating. Ultimately, it wasn’t until I became completely fed up that I took the new approach which was consistent with becoming “ReasonAble.”
            The fact we spent a majority of time in pre-conflict resolution had large and significant costs associated for both of us individually and the organizations we represented. We were preoccupied emotionally in the situation which resulted in direct, opportunity, and continuity costs. Had we both taken different approaches from the beginning the costs would have been significantly reduced.  I learned that the more walls you build between you and the other person only make communication more difficult and adds additional obstacles to overcome before a resolution can be obtained. Communication is key.